| How to write the blues1. Most blues begin "Woke up | | | | c. you shot a man in Memphis. |
| this morning."2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way | | | | d. you can't be satisfied.No, if: |
| to begin the blues, unless you stick something nasty | | | | a. you were once blind but now can see. |
| in the next line. I got a good woman- with the | | | | b. you're deaf |
| meanest dog in town.3. Blues are simple. After you | | | | c. you have a trust fund.13. Neither Julio Iglesias nor |
| have the first line right, repeat it. Then find something | | | | Barbra Streisand can sing the blues.14. If you ask for |
| that rhymes. Sort of. Got a good woman with the | | | | water and baby gives you gasoline, it's the blues. |
| meanest dog in town. He got teeth like Margaret | | | | Other blues beverages are:a. wine |
| Thatcher and he weighs about 500 pounds.4. The | | | | b. Irish whiskey |
| blues are not about limitless choice.5. Blues cars are | | | | c. muddy water Blues beverages are NOT:a. Any |
| Chevy's and Cadillac's. Other acceptable blue | | | | mixed drink |
| transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound | | | | b. Any wine kosher for Passover |
| train. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. | | | | c. Yoo Hoo (all flavors) 15. If it occurs in a cheap |
| So does fixin' to die.6. Teenagers can't sing the blues. | | | | motel or a shotgun shack, it's a blues death. Stabbed |
| Adults sing the blues. Blues adulthood means old | | | | in the back by a jealous lover is a blues way to die. |
| enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in | | | | So is the electric chair, substance abuse, or being |
| Memphis.7. You can have the blues in New York City, | | | | denied treatment in an emergency room. It is not a |
| but not in Brooklyn or Queens. Hard times in Vermont | | | | blues death, if you die during a liposuction |
| or North Dakota are just a depression. Chicago, St. | | | | treatment.16. Some Blues names for Womena. Sadie |
| Louis and Kansas City are still the best places to | | | | b. Big Mama |
| have the blues.8. The following colors do not belong | | | | c. Bessie |
| in the blues:a. violet | | | | d. Thelma17. Some Blues Names for Mena. Joe |
| b. beige | | | | b. Willie |
| c. mauve 9. You can't have the blues in an office or | | | | c. Little Willie |
| a shopping mall, the lighting is wrong.10. Good places | | | | d. Lightning Persons with names like Sierra or |
| for the Blues:a. the highway | | | | Sequoia will not be permitted to sing the blues no |
| b. the jail house | | | | matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.17B. |
| c. the empty bed Bad places:a. Ashrams | | | | Other Blues Names (Starter Kit)a. Name of Physical |
| b. Gallery openings | | | | infirmity (Blind, Crippled, Asthmatic) |
| c. Weekend in the Hamptons 11. No one will believe | | | | b. First name (see above) or name of fruit (Lemon, |
| it's the blues if you wear a suit, unless you happen to | | | | Lime, Kiwi) |
| be an old black man.12. Do you have the right to sing | | | | c. Last Name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, |
| the blues?Yes, if: | | | | Fillmore, etc.) Jeffrey Meier of Jam727 Enterprises at |
| a. your first name is a southern state -- like Georgia | | | | offers Information Articles and other topics. |
| b. you're blind | | | | |