| Somewhere around the summer between my 5th | | | | or to double check on our homework assignment. |
| and 6ths grade years at EV Cain Elementary School a | | | | We knew girls were different, but we didn't give |
| girl named Rhonda moved from Grass Valley to | | | | much thought to how they differed, except that |
| Auburn, and there was something about her that | | | | they threw a baseball funny and used two hands to |
| fascinated me. I saw her sometimes during the | | | | shoot a basketball (even a lay up!), and they ran "like |
| summer, going to the show with other girls, or | | | | girls".Except Linda Polameri.She threw a ball the right |
| shopping downtown with her Mother. She was | | | | way, ran like a boy, and nobody would have bet |
| intriguing to me for some reason. I can't think of that | | | | against her in a fair fight. The reason I know that is |
| reason now, but I wanted to meet her, or to do | | | | because she once got very angry with me in class |
| something, anything, so she would notice me. Once I | | | | after I beat her in a class election, and challenged me |
| saw her at the town park up by the Recreation Field, | | | | to a fight afterward. (Election of class officers was |
| and since I was a fast runner in those days, I | | | | held twice a year, as I recall, and students pretty |
| thought I might show her how swift I was, and | | | | much voted by sex; the girls voted for whatever girl |
| thereby impress her with my speed. I had just seen | | | | was running, and the boys voted for whatever boy |
| a Superman movie, and was impressed with the | | | | was running. The only reason I ran was because no |
| whole idea of speed, and thought she might be too. | | | | other boy wanted to run.) By last period, the entire |
| She was sitting on the lawn with a couple other girls I | | | | class had heard about the fight, taken sides, and |
| knew, and I wished that they would go away so I | | | | some were even making bets. I guess what |
| could impress her without them saying something like | | | | bothered me the most was that even the boys who |
| "that's only Duane," or some other dumb thing girls | | | | were rooting for me in the fight were betting against |
| said back in those days.I waited for probably a | | | | me. Even my best friend, Jack Stephens, who was |
| half-hour or more for my opportunity. Her friends | | | | as small as I was, only plumper, had bet his entire |
| didn't budge. But I spotted a beagle running lickity-split | | | | Friday's lunch money against me.Fortunately for me, |
| in her general direction, and I thought, "if she sees | | | | Mr. Ryan got wind of the fight, too, and appeared |
| me running faster than that dog, she'll really be | | | | after school behind the Quonset hut; the very spot |
| impressed with me!" So I took out at an angle, until I | | | | previously appointed for the fight. When the other |
| was about parallel with the dog, and we zoomed side | | | | kids saw him, they retreated awkwardly, and made |
| by side within a few feet of the girls and on to | | | | their way toward the playground and on home. Linda |
| wherever the dog was headed. Before I got out of | | | | seemed disappointed that the scheduled fight had |
| earshot I heard her ask "who is the dumb kid with | | | | been cancelled, but left with the others, not wanting |
| the cute dog?" My heart sank, but my feet ran on. | | | | to get in trouble with Mr. Ryan, a fair but tough |
| The dog seemed to know where he was going, but | | | | teacher who had been a career officer in the Marines |
| I didn't and within seconds I found myself sliding on | | | | before he became a teacher. When everyone was |
| my back across a freshly watered section of lawn. | | | | gone, I crawled out from under the Quonset hut |
| As I slid to a stop, the dog turned back, gave me a | | | | where I had been hiding, and skipped home, |
| curious look, and licked my face as if to say, "Are | | | | celebrating my reprieve.Luckily, Linda didn't hold a |
| you OK?" I couldn't bear looking back to see if | | | | grudge, and the next day at school she asked me if |
| Rhonda was watching, but I heard the girls giggling, | | | | I wanted to shake and make up.I did.So we did.And |
| so I was sure she saw the entire show.Later that | | | | that was the inauspicious start of my first romance. |
| same summer I was walking on the sidewalk in front | | | | Any girl who would shake and make up, to say |
| of the Auburn Post Office where my Dad worked, | | | | nothing of running and throwing right, was worth my |
| when I spotted her coming out of the Post Office | | | | attention. It started out slowly, by a quick meeting |
| lobby. She looked so pretty in her curly, bouncy hair, | | | | of our eyes during history class, then sending notes |
| pink blouse and pedal pushers, that again I felt the | | | | back and forth during social studies, and climaxing in |
| surge of desire coming over me to impress her. I | | | | my request to change seats with John Towers so I |
| spotted a magnificent Schwinn bicycle parked by the | | | | could sit next to her. That was fine with John, who |
| curb; a bike far more expensive than I could ever | | | | was tired of passing our notes back and forth by |
| hope to own, and since I was just a few feet from | | | | now. That was the first time in my entire life that I |
| it at the time, I kind of casually stepped over to it | | | | had ever knowingly and willingly taken a seat next to |
| and put one hand on the handle bars, like I was just | | | | a girl, and surprisingly, it felt kind of good, in an |
| resting after a long ride through the foothills of the | | | | embarrassing sort of way.She liked me for |
| Sierras. To my great surprise, she DID notice me, | | | | approximately the same reasons, I suspect. I ran |
| and in fact walked directly toward me. When she | | | | fast, threw a baseball like I knew what I was doing, |
| was no more than a foot away from me she asked, | | | | and was pretty fair at the one-handed set shot. |
| "OK, what are you doing with my bike?"I mumbled | | | | Then too, I was a boy, and it was a novelty for a |
| something about being sorry I had mistaken her bike | | | | boy to pay that much attention to a girl at 11 years |
| for mine, and she mumbled something with the word | | | | of age.That spring was wonderful. Seeing Linda every |
| "stupid" in it, and that was the end of that. She | | | | day at school; overhearing other girls whisper about |
| never did notice me after that, and I guess it's just | | | | us "going together" in the cloakroom; and seeing a |
| as well. I understand she went on to become a very | | | | newfound admiration in the eyes of some of my |
| successful waitress in old town Auburn.Now that I've | | | | male friends. I used to lie awake at night and dream |
| been married for more years than I care to mention, | | | | of Linda and I both making the Yankees; she at |
| I've given up the idea of trying to impress her. Oh, | | | | shortstop and me in centerfield, winking at each |
| when I'm back in town and drive by the Cozy Spot | | | | other between plays. I always out hit her in my |
| Cafe where she works, I'm always tempted to go in | | | | daydreams, probably to make up for the fact that |
| and somehow let her know that the boy she | | | | she always out hit me in real 7th grade baseball |
| scorned grew up to be a writer. But about the time I | | | | games. It just didn't seem right for her to be THAT |
| start to pull in, my mind goes back to my first two | | | | good. And we were tied for stolen bases, too, in my |
| attempts at impressing her, and I visualize myself | | | | daydreams, right up to the last game of the season, |
| telling her about all the books I have written, and in | | | | when I stole 5 bases in one inning, breaking Ty |
| my mind, she responds by sarcastically asking if I | | | | Cobb's record (of course that was long before Maury |
| write about dogs and stolen bikes, and so I change | | | | Wills, Ricky Henderson, etc.) and putting me 1 ahead |
| my mind, and drive on.Of course, I knew lots of | | | | of Linda, who only stole 4 bases that same inning.Our |
| other girls as I was growing up, and I suppose I had | | | | 7th grade formal dance was in late May, and Linda |
| a normal amount of curiosity about them that any | | | | looked forward to it excitedly, talking a great deal |
| young guy had. Roy Poindexter, a 5th grader, told a | | | | about it, and hinting that she would dance only with |
| bunch of us 4th grade boys that the way to tell the | | | | me. I was greatly flattered on the one hand, and |
| difference between boys and girls was to tape a | | | | worried on the other since I didn't know how to |
| small mirror to the toe of one shoe, then walk | | | | dance.I needn't have worried, however.A kid named |
| casually up to a girl and engage her in conversation, | | | | Chip Bonanno from New Jersey moved to Auburn |
| and simply place the foot with the mirror on it | | | | three days before the dance. He was handsome, |
| between the girl's feet. Then while she was talking, | | | | looked much older than the rest of us boys, had big |
| we would simply glance down and get a glimpse of | | | | biceps which he showed off in cut-off T-shirts, and |
| whatever was hiding under her skirt.Roy spoke with | | | | spoke with not only a voice which had already |
| the suave confidence of one who had done it many | | | | changed to bass, but also with the smooth |
| times. In retrospect, I remember his Mom was a | | | | sophistication of a city boy who knew all about cars, |
| manager of women's undergarments at J.C. Penny's, | | | | girls, and the ways of the world. Linda and every |
| so he probably honed his craft by practicing on the | | | | other girl in the 7th grade fell in love with him |
| mannequins after hours. Despite his bragging, I have | | | | instantly, and since Linda was the only girl in the 7th |
| serious reservations as to whether he ever tried it | | | | grade with a boyfriend, she was the one he |
| on a real, live girl, who would have to be both blind | | | | chose.She danced every dance with Chip at the |
| and stupid to stand still for such an obvious ploy.But | | | | formal, and as far as I knew, did not distinguish me |
| Billy Roberts believed him, and announced that he | | | | from the furniture. I was crushed, of course, and |
| was going to try it the next day at school. Instead | | | | spent most of my time looking as sad as possible, in |
| of the scenario turning out the way Roy predicted, | | | | hopes that she would notice me and feel sorry for |
| the moment Billy walked on the playground Wanda | | | | me and leave Chip and come back to me.It didn't |
| Johannson spotted the mirror, and yelled at him | | | | work. She never looked.Duane Shinn is the author of |
| across the basketball court "Hey Billy! What's that on | | | | the popular free 101-week online e-mail newsletter |
| your shoe?"So that was the end of that | | | | titled Amazing Secrets Of Exciting Piano Chords & |
| experiment.And with a few notable exceptions, up | | | | Sizzling Chord Progressions - Intelligent Piano Lessons |
| until about the 7th grade girls were those "other | | | | For Adults Only!" with over 84,400 current |
| things" that we boys had no interest in and no use | | | | subscribers. |
| for, unless it was to check the spelling of some word | | | | |